Life has been so crazy, I haven't had much time for blogging. Along with driving the bus, teaching the kids, cleaning house, raising animals and writing, I learned recently that I probably have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS). EDS is a connective tissue disorder that causes defective collagen, affecting many parts of the body. It's a probable explanation to many years of weak ankles and wrists, a bad back and hips and arthritis that started early in my life, as well as my bad teeth. While it's nice to know a reason behind my health problems, it's not nice to experience them in the first place, or watch as my body deteriorates at a fast rate.
Kaylee is now three and into everything. She is a little drama queen in the making! She is extremely smart, which makes her think she's big enough to do anything everyone else can do. She's also a big sweetheart, getting upset when others are hurt or sad, bringing things to us she thinks we want, etc.
Josh started third grade at home this year and is doing great. He is always eager to learn and loves to read! We are still battling his impulsiveness and trying to get him to learn to think before he acts... not an easy task for a child on the autism spectrum. He still really enjoys learning magic tricks, showing it wasn't just a passing phase.
Tim started 5th grade this year at home and is growing up so fast! He is teaching himself how to draw, and really has a strong passion for it. He is raising rabbits along with his dad this year. He is able to go on the bus with me for several days without the meltdowns he showed last year, proving that he is learning to control himself and not be bothered by his environment as much.
I will be trying, once again, to keep this blog updated. Our computer crashed and all of my log-in information was on that computer, so it took me a little while to remember passwords to get into the blog. I'M BACK!!!!
The Lindsay Family
2011
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Pushing Past Fears
One of the main things that causes people to not grow or excel is their own fears. We allow our fears to reprogram our brain in an effort to convince us that those fears are bigger and stronger than we are. Once a fear is set in our minds, we find all kinds of reasons why we can't face them. We may even feel physical reactions whenever we consider those fears. For instance, I can handle snakes, rodents and most bugs. However, get me near spiders, scorpions, clowns or in high places and you'll see a different side of me! My heart races, I begin to sweat (which my body doesn't normally do unless I'm sick) and I get extremely agitated at having to stay there. My fight or flight instinct kicks into full gear. I used to be seriously afraid of cats, to the point of having night terrors almost nightly as a child. This was due, in part, to my parents watching horror movies about cats when I was very little. It's their fault! :) I kicked that phobia on my own at the age of 16 by adopting a kitten that was abandoned. I took him in and raised him, and within a few months I no longer had night terrors and learned to love cats.
All of my fears are pretty rational, except for the clowns and the cats. I know it's a silly fear, yet, I cannot change it. I've tried. I have had to teach myself to deal with the spiders and scorpions, because I live in the desert and I have to take care of those for my kids. How did I do that, though? By desensitizing myself. There are some REALLY ugly spiders out here! I've lived in the desert for 15 years, and I've seen a lot of them. For several years, my husband was the only running to my side to be the hero as I screamed for dear life. But, when the kids came along, I had to change. I didn't want them to have the same phobias, so I gradually took over killing them. I still call Rick for some of the more serious ones that I just cannot bring myself to handle, but I don't allow myself to panic. I refuse to allow myself to lose control. My kids are my motivation to push past those fears. I want them to understand that no matter how much a person wants to, they cannot allow their fears to control them.
With kids with autism, this is even more crucial. Six years ago, Tim had serious phobic reactions to wearing socks, buying new shoes, trying new foods, chewing meat, having his hair cut, changing clothes every season and the list goes on. He was afraid of EVERYTHING. Not just afraid, he would go into a phobic panic at the thought of having to deal with those issues. His brain was telling him these things were going to hurt him. Allowing him to avoid them was only instilling those thoughts. So, I began immediately to help him face those fears, one by one. The only way to accomplish most of those was to just force him, lovingly, to deal with them. He HAD to wear socks, buy new shoes, etc. I helped him through each meltdown by calmly reminding him that he was alright, that these things were not hurting him, but they just bugged him. Gradually, the meltdowns ceased. He still doesn't like to wear socks, but he is fine with buying new shoes now. He transitions well between seasonal clothing, but still prefers to wear shorts and no shirts. He tolerates his hair being cut, but prefers longer hair. My forcing these changes was never about control, or "do as I say", but teaching his brain the difference between something that is dangerous and something that is just annoying. Once the fear was gone, I allowed him to make choices based on his preferences, to a point. The food issues we had to just wait out, and as he matured, they fixed themselves. However, I did force him to always try something new, just one or two bites, so that he understood that some things may look bad but taste great. Now, I have a budding chef!
The benefit in all this is that he now has a much brighter future. Living with multiple phobias is not fun. It severely restricts what you can and can't do when you are afraid of everything. It makes working very hard because there's usually dress codes in place. He may not have enough money to support a picky diet. Being so afraid of creatures is going to make him want to lock himself inside his house and make himself sick by spraying poisons. Now that he worked through so many issues at such a young age, he doesn't have as many restrictions holding him back. I like that. In the process, I learned to deal with some of my own phobias. I couldn't force him to deal with his and not face my own. Now, if I could just find a solution to those pesky clowns!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Dyslexia
As anyone who raises a child with autism knows, other problems usually go hand in hand. Learning disabilities are very common for kids living with autism. We are in the process of determining whether or not Tim has dyslexia. It would definitely explain why he has such a hard time memorizing facts, or why he still reverses his letters or words. To make things easier for me, but also to help others, I've compiled a list of links regarding dyslexia. It's not organized, I may get to that later, when I understand more about the learning disorder myself. I will add more resources as I find them.
How is Dyslexia Diagnosed? Language Tools for Working With Dyslexic Children
Dyslexia Games
Friday, June 10, 2011
Cooking with the Kids
I love to cook. I didn't always, though. In fact, I didn't even know how to 'really' cook until I got married and my husband taught me. My mom was an awesome cook, but she didn't have the patience to teach. She didn't want me in the kitchen at all when she was cooking. So, much like we all do when we grow up and have kids of our own and try to change what we felt we missed out on as a child, I made sure to make cooking a family event. Not every meal, but as often as possible or as they want.
Tim, my oldest, LOVES to cook. He definitely shares my passion. When we had DirecTV, he would join his dad and I in watching The Food Network. He can make several things by himself and what he can't do by himself, he gladly helps me make. In fact, for his sister's 2nd birthday, he made her (boxed) cake all by himself. Today is his dad's birthday and he'll be making his cake.
Josh has just recently shown an interest in cooking, although he's been helping out since he was about three. Josh is a very picky eater, so he'll help cook but he won't always eat what he cooks. Tim was like that, more so because his sensory issues were really bad and wouldn't let him eat a lot of foods, willingly. Through the course of learning about foods and how to prepare them, as well as raising most of the foods we use in our garden, Tim has become a pretty outgoing eater. So, there's still hope for Josh!
Kaylee is already helping in the kitchen. She loves to 'wash' dishes and helps prepare foods whenever I let her. Last night, as I was slicing zucchini and squash for a meal, she was putting the slices into a bowl for me. She also helps stir and pour ingredients.
Cooking is a great way to work with your kids and it builds their self-confidence. It is very rewarding to make a meal and sit down and eat it, knowing it came from your own work. When it's really good and the family enjoys it, it's a great boost to the 'I CAN do it' mentality we try to raise our kids with.
Tim, my oldest, LOVES to cook. He definitely shares my passion. When we had DirecTV, he would join his dad and I in watching The Food Network. He can make several things by himself and what he can't do by himself, he gladly helps me make. In fact, for his sister's 2nd birthday, he made her (boxed) cake all by himself. Today is his dad's birthday and he'll be making his cake.
Josh has just recently shown an interest in cooking, although he's been helping out since he was about three. Josh is a very picky eater, so he'll help cook but he won't always eat what he cooks. Tim was like that, more so because his sensory issues were really bad and wouldn't let him eat a lot of foods, willingly. Through the course of learning about foods and how to prepare them, as well as raising most of the foods we use in our garden, Tim has become a pretty outgoing eater. So, there's still hope for Josh!
Kaylee is already helping in the kitchen. She loves to 'wash' dishes and helps prepare foods whenever I let her. Last night, as I was slicing zucchini and squash for a meal, she was putting the slices into a bowl for me. She also helps stir and pour ingredients.
Cooking is a great way to work with your kids and it builds their self-confidence. It is very rewarding to make a meal and sit down and eat it, knowing it came from your own work. When it's really good and the family enjoys it, it's a great boost to the 'I CAN do it' mentality we try to raise our kids with.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Pets Are Family, Too
My husband and I have been married for 18 years. During that time, we have never been without a pet. Never. In fact, we have almost always had a zoo. It is safe to say that we are animal lovers. I worked in pet stores for three years and developed my love for almost all animals during that period in my life. My husband grew up with dogs, cats, birds and guinea pigs, and went on to have farm animals as an adult. From there, it just grew for both of us.
Prior to having human kids, we had many animal children. We've owned dogs, cats, cockatiels, rabbits, guinea pigs, ducks, geese, chickens, pot-bellied pigs, lizards, mice, rats and a snake. All before having kids, so we're looking at an 8-year period of time. When we moved to where we live currently, we couldn't bring what farm animals were still alive. By that time, we were down to just dogs, cats and an iguana. Between the time that we moved here six years ago we have acquired another snake, a bearded dragon, fish, another rabbit, hairless rats, parakeets, an Amazon Parrot and two conures.
Having animals takes on another significance for my family, besides loving their company. With both boys having autism, we use our pets as therapy. Having pets is a great way to teach concepts like unconditional love, affection, empathy and responsibility. Through having pets, they also learn about death, how to grieve and move on. They know more than most kids their ages that animals take a lot of time and money to take care of, but they are worth it.
Tim saved up his allowance for several months, at the age of 7, to buy his own parakeet and cage. He could have used that money to buy toys or spend it on junk food, we let them choose what they spend their money on. He wanted a bird, and wanted one bad enough to sacrifice childhood desires to get it. Sadly, it died a few months later for unknown reasons but not because he wasn't treated like a king. The breeder replaced it for free knowing that something must have been wrong with it. Tim fell more in love with that one than the first, until it somehow got out of the cage and flew off. Heartbroken is an understatement. He was devastated. We replaced that one with a conure, and while he loves that bird, it's just different for him. Through this, he's also learning that loving a pet a little less doesn't remove his responsibility to take care of it. I think he's just trying not to get close again for fear of it leaving.
I'm sure we will have many more pets during our lives. I consider my love for animals a gift from the Lord. It extends beyond pets into just about every kind of animal, with the exception of bugs and spiders. That's where I draw the line!
My Sun Conure, Baby
Tim's Ball Python (nameless)
Josh's rabbit, Long Ears
Our inside dogs, Buster and Sparky
Prior to having human kids, we had many animal children. We've owned dogs, cats, cockatiels, rabbits, guinea pigs, ducks, geese, chickens, pot-bellied pigs, lizards, mice, rats and a snake. All before having kids, so we're looking at an 8-year period of time. When we moved to where we live currently, we couldn't bring what farm animals were still alive. By that time, we were down to just dogs, cats and an iguana. Between the time that we moved here six years ago we have acquired another snake, a bearded dragon, fish, another rabbit, hairless rats, parakeets, an Amazon Parrot and two conures.
Having animals takes on another significance for my family, besides loving their company. With both boys having autism, we use our pets as therapy. Having pets is a great way to teach concepts like unconditional love, affection, empathy and responsibility. Through having pets, they also learn about death, how to grieve and move on. They know more than most kids their ages that animals take a lot of time and money to take care of, but they are worth it.
Tim saved up his allowance for several months, at the age of 7, to buy his own parakeet and cage. He could have used that money to buy toys or spend it on junk food, we let them choose what they spend their money on. He wanted a bird, and wanted one bad enough to sacrifice childhood desires to get it. Sadly, it died a few months later for unknown reasons but not because he wasn't treated like a king. The breeder replaced it for free knowing that something must have been wrong with it. Tim fell more in love with that one than the first, until it somehow got out of the cage and flew off. Heartbroken is an understatement. He was devastated. We replaced that one with a conure, and while he loves that bird, it's just different for him. Through this, he's also learning that loving a pet a little less doesn't remove his responsibility to take care of it. I think he's just trying not to get close again for fear of it leaving.
I'm sure we will have many more pets during our lives. I consider my love for animals a gift from the Lord. It extends beyond pets into just about every kind of animal, with the exception of bugs and spiders. That's where I draw the line!
Tim's Conure, Apple
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Why I Homeschool
Many people wonder why I chose to homeschool. I'll tell you why. :) Some think it's because my boys have forms of autism, but I made the decision to homeschool long before I had kids.
My sister was the first person I knew that decided to homeschool. Her daughter was in Jr. High and was starting to get in with the wrong crowd. She pulled her out and began teaching her at home. I spent some time with her during the first summer that she started home teaching, and I was impressed. I knew right away that I wanted to teach my kids, and wished I had known about homeschooling when I was in school.
One of my main reasons for wanting to teach my kids is to have more time to teach them about God. The only 'religion' taught in schools, or should I say forced, is evolution. That's not what I wanted for my children. I knew from when I was in school that the teachers and fellow students have a much bigger influence on children than parents, and didn't want to gamble on the fact that the few hours a day I would see my kids would be enough to instill Christ in them. Yes, it does work for many, but I didn't want to take the chance and find out it didn't work for mine. My kids' souls are too important.
Another important reason (I have many reasons, but I'm trying not to write a book!) is their education. When you have children with special needs, you hear story after story detailing how neglectful public schools can be. There are some that really have the child's interests at heart, but they are few and far between. It isn't just kids with needs that suffer, either. It seems more and more that public schools are more about money rather than giving kids a well balanced education. Test scores are the focus, not retention or actual knowledge. I wanted my kids to be able to focus on the material and not the friends. That has only been confirmed since I started driving a school bus. I also wanted them to learn to REALLY socialize with people. Real life involves getting along with people of all ages and in various situations, not just kids their own age in a classroom environment.
The third most important reason I homeschool is to really enforce the idea of family. I want my kids to learn to appreciate EACH OTHER more than peers. I want them to learn to be responsible for each other, because they will have to take care of each other when Rick and I are gone. I want to enjoy them while they are children, before they go off into the world on their own. I love watching them learn new things, and knowing that I helped them. I love the quality time we have together. I love giving them the opportunity to explore their interests, letting them have a say in what and how they learn... just like real life.
My sister was the first person I knew that decided to homeschool. Her daughter was in Jr. High and was starting to get in with the wrong crowd. She pulled her out and began teaching her at home. I spent some time with her during the first summer that she started home teaching, and I was impressed. I knew right away that I wanted to teach my kids, and wished I had known about homeschooling when I was in school.
One of my main reasons for wanting to teach my kids is to have more time to teach them about God. The only 'religion' taught in schools, or should I say forced, is evolution. That's not what I wanted for my children. I knew from when I was in school that the teachers and fellow students have a much bigger influence on children than parents, and didn't want to gamble on the fact that the few hours a day I would see my kids would be enough to instill Christ in them. Yes, it does work for many, but I didn't want to take the chance and find out it didn't work for mine. My kids' souls are too important.
Another important reason (I have many reasons, but I'm trying not to write a book!) is their education. When you have children with special needs, you hear story after story detailing how neglectful public schools can be. There are some that really have the child's interests at heart, but they are few and far between. It isn't just kids with needs that suffer, either. It seems more and more that public schools are more about money rather than giving kids a well balanced education. Test scores are the focus, not retention or actual knowledge. I wanted my kids to be able to focus on the material and not the friends. That has only been confirmed since I started driving a school bus. I also wanted them to learn to REALLY socialize with people. Real life involves getting along with people of all ages and in various situations, not just kids their own age in a classroom environment.
The third most important reason I homeschool is to really enforce the idea of family. I want my kids to learn to appreciate EACH OTHER more than peers. I want them to learn to be responsible for each other, because they will have to take care of each other when Rick and I are gone. I want to enjoy them while they are children, before they go off into the world on their own. I love watching them learn new things, and knowing that I helped them. I love the quality time we have together. I love giving them the opportunity to explore their interests, letting them have a say in what and how they learn... just like real life.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My First Blog
Well, here it is. I finally decided to start blogging. I love Facebook, but it's hard to keep track of things I post. I am a mom to Tim, age 9. He just started 4th grade, and has high functioning autism. Josh is 6, just started 2nd grade and has Asperger's. Kaylee is my little two-year-old spitfire. I chose to homeschool my children before I even became a mom, but that's for another blog post. I drive a school bus as our main source of income, since my husband is unable to work.
We live somewhere in San Bernardino County with our "Zoo". We are all animal lovers, and each one we have is a family member to us. Proof that there's no such thing as a family too large. Our plans are to eventually move and start our own homestead. I wish we could do this tomorrow! We make as much as we can from scratch, including our laundry detergent. Ridding our house of toxins and using as much aw we can that is natural, has been our game plan since learning that our oldest had autism.
We do our best to put our Lord, Jesus Christ, center of our lives. Although we do fail him miserably on a daily basis, we keep striving to be more Christ-like and to raise our children to put Jesus first. We don't claim to be perfect, by no means. If you spent a day with us, you would see that for yourselves! We enjoy life, and spend every free minute with our children. They are only young once, and being older parents, we count each moment as precious... even when they are driving us crazy.
I will try to blog at least once a week, so please, stay tuned. If you have a question for me, send them my way and if it isn't too personal, I may write a blog about the topic. To my family and friends, in real life and online only, I don't know what I would do without you. Having your support makes life so much more enjoyable.
We live somewhere in San Bernardino County with our "Zoo". We are all animal lovers, and each one we have is a family member to us. Proof that there's no such thing as a family too large. Our plans are to eventually move and start our own homestead. I wish we could do this tomorrow! We make as much as we can from scratch, including our laundry detergent. Ridding our house of toxins and using as much aw we can that is natural, has been our game plan since learning that our oldest had autism.
We do our best to put our Lord, Jesus Christ, center of our lives. Although we do fail him miserably on a daily basis, we keep striving to be more Christ-like and to raise our children to put Jesus first. We don't claim to be perfect, by no means. If you spent a day with us, you would see that for yourselves! We enjoy life, and spend every free minute with our children. They are only young once, and being older parents, we count each moment as precious... even when they are driving us crazy.
I will try to blog at least once a week, so please, stay tuned. If you have a question for me, send them my way and if it isn't too personal, I may write a blog about the topic. To my family and friends, in real life and online only, I don't know what I would do without you. Having your support makes life so much more enjoyable.
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